The Fishmonger

For this story we had to include the words 'Alive', 'Platonic' and 'Leather'

Alive, alive oh

Cockles and mussels

Alive, alive oh

Molly was sick of the smell of seafood. Every day she pulled her cart through the streets of Dublin, selling her wares to the townsmen. Every dreary day was exactly the same as the previous one. The only difference that she was a day older than the day before. 

While she was waiting for customers she often fantasized about other lives. How it would have been if she was born in a rich merchant family, having servants to cook and clean for her and to wash her clothes. She would marry a handsome nobleman that had fallen on hard times, and make many children with him. They would become lords and ladies and end up as famous sculptors in Paris or renowned writers in Berlin.

But the grim reality was that she grew up in a fishmonger’s family, married a fisherman and would be a fishmonger her whole life until she died. What else was she supposed to do? She had never learned another craft. And now that she was past her prime it was too late; no-one would take her as an apprentice anymore.

As a fishmonger, at least, she had her reputation. Her parents and grandparents had been fishmongers, and they always sold good quality seafood for a decent price. People remembered this, and the townsmen became loyal customers. As long as there was fish in the sea, she’d never be poor.

But she had never really been fond of fish. It was ok as food, but every day was just too much. Her husband Brock insisted on eating a fish-based meal almost every single day, since he liked to eat what he had caught himself. 

At least the smelly legacy of her family would end with her. She had no desire to have any children, only to let them grow up becoming fishermen and fishmongers themselves. And it is not as if she had an exciting sex life. She cared for her husband, and it was nice to talk with him. but their relationship was purely platonic. They've only tried sex a few times, and it never worked out. 

Her friends told her to find a lover or at least a quick hook-up in a bar to get laid. But she didn’t care, she didn’t share this lust and desire of her friends, gossiping and drooling about hot men the whole time. It was fine as it was. And her husband... she was quite sure Brock preferred muscular sailors with tattoos over her smooth thighs. It was a subject they never mentioned, it was his problem. He’ll have to deal with the consequences of being a sodomite when he was being judged before the gates of heaven. 

Today was coming to an end. It had been a decent day; she sold a good amount of fish and began preparing her cart to return home. When she was putting away her wares, she took a large oyster from her cart and looked at it. It was one of the biggest oysters she had seen in her life, and she didn’t really want to sell it. Maybe she’ll just keep it. It might have a pearl inside, who knows … 

Suddenly a high-pitched male voice started talking to her ‘Good evening fair lady, I would like to inquire you for assistance’. The sound emerged from... the oyster? Molly felt a pang of panic welling up in her. Was she becoming crazy, thinking the seafood was starting to talk to her?

 ‘Please don’t ignore me, fair lady, I plead you for your aid! I just want to return to the sea, and be with my brethren again’. 

Molly didn’t have the patience for this. Her oysters were supposed to be nice and quiet, looking tasty for her clients. ‘Why would I care’? Molly asked. ‘You are but an oyster, albeit a talking one. I sell you for seafood to my customer’. ‘Or maybe I’ll just eat you myself.’ ‘Do you have something to offer to me? If you could turn me into a princess, I might consider helping you’, she told the oyster mockingly.

‘Oh no fair lady, don’t eat me, my body tastes foul and has a leathery texture!’ ‘Besides, would god agree with eating a creature capable of thought and speech’?

‘Whatever’ Molly said. ‘I'll just dump you somewhere in the gutter’.

‘NO wait’! The oyster begged. Actually, I càn turn you into a princess! I am actually the king of oysters, and I have magical powers! But my magic works only in the water. Bring me to the ocean and I’ll make you a real princess!’

‘Magical powers’? Molly scoffed. ‘Wel, its worth a try I guess.’ ‘But if you set me up, I’ll make you suffer’.

When Molly was standing on the beach with the talking oyster she put him in the water and said ‘Ok, time to fulfill your promise, talking oyster king’.

‘Yes, fair lady! Thank you for your help!’ he beamed. ‘Please close your eyes, and when you open them again, you’ll be a princess in a faraway kingdom’!

She did as the oyster told. When she opened her eyes again, Molly was no longer on the beach. She looked at her surroundings and saw that she was in a spacious bedroom, with furniture made from strange materials she had never seen before. Everything had bright blue, red and yellow colours and had a weird, rough texture when she touched it. But she had to admit it was quite beautiful, and in any case much better than her tiny house in Dublin. 

Well look at that. The oyster actually spoke the truth! But something was weird with the room... the air felt too light, and everything was a bit blurry. It was as if she was under water … or was she actually? Wait what? And her body felt strange … As if there was something wrong with her legs. She looked down to her feet … or at least were her feet were supposed to be. But instead, she saw two green fish tails where her legs were supposed to be!

A mermaid? The fucking oyster turned her into a mermaid princess? She burst out of the room and started screaming in the halls ‘Is anyone here? What is going on? What the hell is this’?

Around the corner came an old crab and the oyster, who was now wearing a huge golden crown. ‘Molly’ the oyster exclaimed. ‘Thank you for allowing me to return home!’ ‘As promised, you are a princess now’! ‘We sometimes turn humans in mermaids to prevent inbreeding among the merfolk’. ‘There will be a lot of attractive princes vying for your hand!’ 

He pointed at the crab and said ‘this is Mister Crab’. He’ll be your chamberlain and attend to all your needs’. 

‘Well met, milady’ the Crab said, making a small bow with his head. ‘If milady wants to follow me, we prepared a welcoming banquet for your arrival’. ‘Several of the bachelor princes will be present to make your acquaintance’. 

Hmm, could be worse, Molly thought. For a moment she thought about Brock, but she was sure he’d be fine without her. For now, she’ll just focus on being a princess. Not completely how she imagined it in her fantasy, with the tail and all, but she’ll adapt.

‘What do you guys eat here’? She asked the crab.

‘Oh, for you only the best! You can choose between all the fish and seafood from the ocean!’ He said.

‘Oh fuck’